restoring our faith

Josh and I were both raised in Christian families and we both grew up attending church. But for the past few years we have not faithfully attended any services. When we would visit our families we would always go to church and attend service if we were visiting during a holiday. It became something that just fell at the wayside, not something that was of up most importance. I knew that the decision was mine, whenever I was ready, whenever I wanted to I could simply go to a church and worship the Lord. I have had some different views on religion and the definition of church. While I was in high school I was more involved with church than anything else in my life but I felt as though I was required to do so. I was required to attend Sunday school, Sunday morning service, Sunday teen choir practice, Sunday evening service, Wednesday evening visitation, Wednesday evening service and a Saturday teen activity along with any other events going on at the church. I was required to have friends from church and discouraged from having friends at school. I was required to listen to southern gospel music; I was required to follow a certain dress code. The more and more I thought about this the more and more I became confused. Loving and worshiping God should be something I want to do and out of wanting it I would develop a need for it. Some might say that this was rebellious that I was becoming backsliden. But in reality I was becoming myself---I was searching for the desire to do all the things that some required me to do. In the process I developed a fear of getting back into a church family. I wanted a place that I could feel comfortable to be myself ,where I could be a part of a great group of people that are solely gathering for love of the Lord. Not to gossip about what someone is wearing or what so-and-so was supposedly doing last night. I was in search of something and afraid to do the work to find it. My younger brother inspired me to get myself in gear. He had posted numerous things on his twitter page about going to church, attending youth activities and simply stating phrases from his Sunday service that spoke to him. All of these things reminded me of...me, but he was choosing this. He wanted to go to church, he wanted to attend youth activities, he wanted it so much that he could feel God's word speaking to him. I knew that if he could do it that I could, too. I searched online and found a nearby church called Vineyard Church Northwest. We attended service this morning and I have to admit I did have some butterflies in my belly as we pulled into the parking lot. We were greeted immediately when we walked in by a teenage boy standing in the lobby, we grabbed a coffee at their coffee bar, walked into the auditorium and took a seat. The message was about commitment---committing yourself to God and overcoming the fears you may have while doing so---a perfect message for us! I can't wait to head back next Sunday to hear more of God's word and worship with my husband.